my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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