Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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