Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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