I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize