So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize