it was like having sex with a tree stump
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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