Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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