just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
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I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
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it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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