Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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