We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize