hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
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