Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize