somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize