we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize