Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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