grandma shit on top of the toilet
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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