you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize