That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
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I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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