his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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