No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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