Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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