R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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