just tell him i said nine months
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize