I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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