I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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