I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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