i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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