he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize