I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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