People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize