I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize