Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
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Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
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I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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