Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
That accounts for only three of the penises
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize