non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
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I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
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I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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