I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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