The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
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The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
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I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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