I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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