i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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