Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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