Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize