Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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