I am in a vortex of obligation.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
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