I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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