in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
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I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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