My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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