His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
either way he was missing a nipple.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
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I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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