Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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