i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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