OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
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Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
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I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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