counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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